Technology: The Good and the Bad

Three nights ago, Mr. Suhr and I both ordered the ever-coveted iPhone4, through Verizon. I can honestly say that I've been waiting years for this (if you agree with me that years, though sounding like decades, can actually just mean more than two) :) . Walking hand in hand with all the excitement, however, comes a little friend we'll call trepidation.

I'm nervous.

Why am I nervous?

Ya see, I have this thing about gadgets and computers. I am fascinated by them. I've never been super into television or video games (except for that Donkey Kong stint back in '08- ha!), but when I was first introduced to AOL and Instant Messaging by my dear friend Miss Tiffany Tankersley (Now Mrs. Bowles), I was instantly smitten.

I'm not sure why I couldn't get enough. I think there's some freedom in hiding behind a computer screen. I've noticed that I'm a little bit more quick-witted when I'm not sitting across the table from someone. I have more confidence, for some reason. But I think there's more to my love affair than that.

I'm just utterly fascinated.

My family got our first computer back when I was in, oh....fourth grade? It was OLD SCHOOL. I'm talking the original floppy disks that were the size of nowadays dvds. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about...

We did finally upgrade a little later, maybe somewhere around 7th grade. I remember the computer coming to the house and sitting in the box for a while 'cause nobody knew what to do with it. Finally, I was so antsy that I just started pulling it out of the box and putting it all together. It was thrilling to look at the ends of cords and see where they fit on the back of the back of the big, black box. When the computer turned on, and everything worked, I was elated. 

These days, I love all things computer, from the social networking and keeping in touch with friends in all corners of the world, to blogging (mostly because of how fun it is to make pictures like the above), to browsing the internet for any sort of random facts (One of my Strengths Finder strengths is Input, meaning I love to gather information, any information, and can do it for hours at a time), to creating various little pieces for an event we have coming up at Biola. I seriously sometimes wish I had studied design in college. I feel a little vulnerable saying that, because I'm afraid people will look at the stuff I do create and think, "Seriously? You're not that good". It's not even that I think I am very good. I just LOVE to do it. 

But what is my point. 

My point is...I am with a computer, near a computer, looking at a computer, on a computer, and wishing I was on a computer several hours a day. Several. Oftentimes, this is the view sweet Garrett sees when he walks through our apartment door...

(ridiculous picture of Beth will be inserted here when Mr. Suhr 

returns home from his road trip with the computer that houses our photos) 

And we just ordered a mini-computer (iphone4), which I will have on my person at all times of the day. It's small enough to fit in my wallet. 

Scary. 

I have already had so many people tell me that I will be ADDICTED to it. 

Am I an addictive person? 

Yes, I do believe so. 

Or at least a creature of habit. 

I've sworn that I won't be the person who, in the middle of conversation, is constantly checking her iphone. I WON'T be the person who never makes eye contact because something more important is going on in my pocket-sized computer world. 

I had a little time to myself tonight, as Garrett is traveling across the country with his bro. I picked up the book "Flicker Pixels" by Shane Hipps. The first chapter is already speaking to me. In it, he talks about technology and it's ability to cripple us without us even realizing it. 

Example. My dad has a memory like you wouldn't believe. He struggles a little with technology, and figuring out all the little nuances of computers and cell phones. So instead of taking the time to put people's numbers into his phone, he just memorizes them. When he wants to call someone, he just punches their number in. It's RIDICULOUS how many numbers he has memorized. 

Me? I know my number. And Garrett's. 

The only other numbers I remember are the numbers I memorized back in the day, before I started plugging them into my cell phone. Dad's work number (15 years old) , Mom's work number (12 years old), the house number (no longer in service), and Rebecca Simmons' home phone number (13 years old). That's it. 

So what's the big deal? Who cares if I don't remember phone numbers. That's why I have the phone, right? The point Shane makes in the book is that it's the typing them in allows us to forget them. It doesn't exercise the brain or force the brain to remember. 

Another example: In the book Shane refers to a friend of his that said, "'I had the most amazing insight about my spiritual life this morning. It was...basically, like...uh...let me get my journal. I wrote it down.' He then read his insight to me, periodically interrupting his own reading to enjoy his discovery all over again- 'Oh yeah, that's what it was!'" He was learning great things, but in writing them down, his brain wasn't being forced to remember any of the things he was learning. He says "The erosion of memory is, in fact, a downside of the invention of writing; however, there is also an upside that Thamus failed to perceive. Reading and writing have an incredible capacity to expand consciousness and advance the common good." Shane goes onto talk about seeing technology with both eyes open. He says "We need both eyes open if we are going to perceive the multitude of subtle forces that shape our lives..." The quote that really got me was the following: 

                   As Postman put it, our culture is teeming with 'throngs of zealous 

                    Theuths, one-eyed prophets who see only what new technologies 

             can do and are incapable of imagining what they will undo.'"

The iPhone obviously has some great benefits. 

But I ask myself,  "What is it that the iphone could possibly undo in my life? 

What is it that may seem like a benefit, that could possibly turn into harm?"

I'm going to weigh them out: 

Benefit: Quick communication via facebook or text messaging to family & friends across the country. 

Harm: Lack of real relationships because of a false sense of closeness gained by constant, surface interactions through social networks and quick texts. 

Benefit: Access to maps of the area to help us find our way. 

Harm: We could start to rely on the maps and no longer learn how to think critically and figure our way around new cities and roads (one of my favorite things to do!)

Benefit: Ability to check work email if needed. 

Harm: Ability to check work email if needed. As someone who already tends to focus too much on work, this could be a very bad thing. 

Benefit: A camera on my phone. Always ready to take pictures. 

Harm: Taking and posting pictures on a regular basis. Not always anything wrong with this, unless I'm posting pictures that I'm proud of, pictures that I think are favorable of myself, and creating an issue with pride. There could also be harm in not enjoying the moment because I always feel the need to have a picture of the moment. 

Benefit: Internet access at my hand. 

Harm: Because of my huge desire and need for information, I'm afraid I will be using the phrase, "I'll google it!" way too often. I don't want to get caught up in always googling something, always figuring out who's right, and not being present with the conversation I am currently in. 

I'm sure there are more, but I think it's obvious that I'm a little concerned about how I'm going to handle our newest purchase. I'm aware of my tendencies going in, and I hope that these concerns, and my desire to be more intentional with my conversation between my husband, as well as others around me, will keep me on guard and un-addicted. 

iPhone... I've got my eye on you. 

Quarter Life Crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

-unknown

being aware.

"When you have the opportunity, take a look at a clock with a second hand. Stop what you are doing and just watch two minutes pass. In the grand scheme of things, two minutes might seem very short; but, consider the quality time you could have had with someone you know, someone you might meet, or someone you have lost. Every two minutes we have in this life can be spent doing something or spent doing nothing. I prefer to do something...whether I am spending quality time with the people I care about, pursuing new experiences, or doing anything else meaningful in my life. I work hard and I know will be a successful person when my life is over because, in many ways, I am successful already. I cannot always be doing the right thing, no one can. However, I try to spend every two minutes growing as a person and helping others rather than wasting time on that which is insignificant. "
-written by a friend-