Here goes.
I am enjoying marriage...a lot...but I'm also learning a lot about how selfish I am! Good grief! I mean this is the closest that anyone ever sees you at and I guess it just shows you all the good things and bad things about yourself. Garrett's so unselfish in comparison to me and it's really making me want to change some things. I read in a book once that marriage isn't as much about making you happy as it is about making you holy...helping you see things in life that you want to change so that you can better represent who God is. When I first read it I kinda pushed it aside...like..nooo...I mean yes, but it's also about making you happy!! But really...I think it is a lot about making you see all of the sides of yourself. It's crazy. Example. I've been shopping around looking for furniture because the apartment is a little bare. I want something unique and really cool. So I've been looking at antique stores and I found this table that is just...literally...perfect. It's a little couch table that's long and skinny to go in our living room right by the front door...but it's painted really cool...this green color with some gold accents..just really cool. And I had my heart SET on it. And then I took Garrett in. And as nice as he could he said...no. Cause we don't need it. We have a couch to sit on. We've got a table to eat off...and we've got a bed to sleep in. And a couple other things. But we're tight right now so spending the extra on this thing of desire was just...not something we can do. And I was buuuuummmmeeeed. And I showed it. I got all grouchy and...just really Kindergarten-esque. And he asked this really great question. He just said..."How do you want me to respond, then? If I know I need to say no, how do you want me to do it? I can't say yes all the time. But the way you're reacting to my no isn't very mature. How am I supposed to say no in a way that won't make you get like this?" Like a punch to the stomach. He was totally right...Man...that was a hard day. Just seeing myself for my TRUE self...not fun. Ha!
It is a lot of fun, though. We don't have a whole lot of cash flow...especially with me not having a job yet...so we're trying to find these little things to enjoy. Like last night we ordered a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut and watched a movie at home. And it felt like such a treat to get a stuffed crust pizza! There's also this two dollar theater down the road that we've gone to twice. So much cheaper than the other places. Sheesh. It's 11 bucks out here to go see a movie. That's ridiculous! But we've been all about finding excitement in the little things. We live 30 minutes from a beach...free to go to...and we pack a cooler with some sandwiches and snacks...a whole day that doesn't cost us much of anything! It's fun to try and figure out the little things to enjoy...
And...though it may be a little bare...the apartment is at least not cluttered. Cluttered is bad. And hard to keep clean. I should know. That's been me the other 25 years of my life. :)
