the.finish.line.

Final results are in! Janae and I were crossing the checkpoint lines at the exact same times, apparently.
2 hours and 45 seconds, right at a 9:13 mile pace.
I'm gonna go soak for a while. :)

Slacker-ish

I want to post more. I do! I just get behind and then get overwhelmed with how far behind I am and then I avoid it because I'm too far behind to even try. It's too much to handle!

Isn't that life?

I want to post when something funny happens. Something silly happens. Something sad happens. I find out interesting news. I find out ridiculous news. I find out news. I'm dissapointed. I'm happy. I'm lethargic. I'm hungry.

I want to post about random things that aren't big deal things and not feel like I have to have some huge revelation before it's a big enough deal to write about.

But I can't do it.

So tonight. I did it. Here's a random post about nothing. Because I wanted to. And had nothing to write about. But I did it anyway.

That's a milestone. Ha.

Oh. My first Half-Marathon ever is in two days. I'm a tad bit nervous, but more excited than anything! Bring. It. On.

Homemade Egg Rolls and Clogged Garbage Disposals

It has been a longstanding tradition in the Suhr household to make homemade egg rolls for Christmas.

When the boys were younger, Mr. and Mrs. Suhr welcomed several foreign exchange students into their home over the years. This was a great experience for both parties, and the Suhrs were taught some very valuable recipes that we now enjoy VERY much.

One of those recipes came from a couple of Vietnamese girls. Homemade Eggrolls.

d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s.

This was Garrett and I's first go at making the egg rolls. I'd tasted them at Jason and Rachel's house a couple of years back when I was engaged to be a Suhr. Last year we didn't try our hand at them, but this year, we thought we'd give it a whirl. We were a little late; they were more like New Year's Egg Rolls, but boy were they good (and secretly fun to make...as in...I actually enjoyed it!)

Here are some pictures!

The mixture you see is cabbage, carrots, tofu, sausage, bean threads, and a couple of spices.

(I think that's everything?)

Then you roll up the egg roll, adding a little water to the last flap to make it stick.

At the same time, you're heating the oil on the stovetop (or your husband is, in my case).

These are deep fried, of course. :)

The egg rolls start collecting on the side.

And then, when the oils at a good temperature (hot enough to cook 'em, but not too hot that it burns the outside without warming the inside), you drop 'em in...

 

Then it's a game of keep up. I was rollin' as fast as I could to keep up with Garrett who was fryin' as fast as he could...

That boy is a fryin' machine...

When all was said and done, we'd made 40 egg rolls.

35 with the regular stuffings.

 

4 dessert ones.

Stuffed with:

applesauce and cinnamon

peaches and brown sugar

apple butter

nutella, powdered sugar, and peanut butter morsels

and 1 that...didn't make it.

(Picture not shown)

All in all, it was a fun time, and a great dinner.

And leftovers were delicious, too!

And leftovers WILL be delicious again...

and again...

and again...

and...

The only thing that didn't work was...

our sink.

Apparently, I stuffed too many carrot nubs down the "in-sink-erator" and got it clogged.

Waaaaaaay clogged.

We plunged till we could plunge no more.

Nothin'.

We'll have to call facilities tomorrow.

After lunch.

.man down.

Ouch.

So I'm training for a half marathon on February, 7th, right? I'm about...1/3 of the way into training. We (Janae and I) are up to 5 miles and were supposed to run 6 miles tonight. Things have been going fairly smoothly, we're running a steady 9 minute pace with hopes of possibly reducing it to 8.5 minutes by the end, and looking to finish the race in a little under 2 hours. That's the plan.

Well sometimes, things don't go according to plan.

Tonight, only about 10 steps into our 6 mile run, there was a...bit of a hiccup.

Janae and I were talking about who was going to set the pace tonight. She tends to start a bit faster than I do, so I've been pacing us and starting a little slower. We do fine for a while, then I pull her through mile 2.5-3.5, then she pulls me through mile 4, then we coast at mile 5. At least that's been the trend. So we were discussing if we were going to try it at her beginning pace, or mine. We decided to just start running and see what happens. It's sometimes hard to run with someone else, but with Janae it's been fairly easy so far. I think she's a little faster than me, but we tend to kinda even out throughout the run.

So we're about 10 steps into our run, and I look over at her to say something, and my foot catches a large...bump...in the pavement. It was kind of slow motion from there. I remember looking at Janae, looking at my feet, and trying to catch myself, before finally giving in to the fact that there was no stopping it.

I was going down.

I think I caught myself on my two palms first, but then bounced? a little and landed on my right elbow. I also, at some point, scraped my leg along the pavement, before finally rolling over and coming to a resting place on my side. I was half laughing, half crying out, "Ow! Ow! Janae, Ow! It hurts! Ow, Janae!" She was great, held my hand, and I think just tried to figure out what to do. Girls in the dorm next to us looked out through the window at the commotion.

I, of course, knew what was coming next. Anything to do with skin tearing or breaking or getting punctured with me is not good. My ears pierced in 6th grade. Nausea. My shots at the doctor for a missions trip in 8th grade. Nausea. Seeing Mandy get stitches. Nausea. Falling down as Garrett and I were hiking down a mountain. Nausea AND Blackout. Getting stitches for mole removal. Nausea. It's always that way. I can watch blood and gore on tv, but anything to do with skin getting pulled on, punctured, or torn, and I'm done. Nausea means extreme light headed-ness, white lips, lots of yawning, and a huge need for sugar.

Janae went for water and Garrett. When she entered our apartment all she had to say was, "Man down! Beth fell," for Garrett to know what that meant. They both came out and sat with me a while before I eventually walked back. They always seem like silly injuries, but for some reason, the Nausea kicks my butt.

Here's the damage.

Right Elbow.

Two Palms

Of course, Garrett was great and helped me clean it all out and put bandages on.

So, alas, there was no running tonight. I'm recuperating by drinking some Pepsi and am about to down my old usual college taco bell order, a Nacho Cheese Chalupa (Baja Style) and a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I have a feeling it's going to taste really good.

And I'll run it off tomorrow as I watch the ground meticulously for unassuming bumps.

.missing home.

If I were home right now...this is what I would be seeing.

And I would be inside and warm,  with my family, laughing and

sipping coffee as we watched the snow fall, and celebrating

Alabama's SEC Conference Championship win with Dad.

I'm thinking of my family as I sit here in my apartment in L.A.

It's a chilly 58 degrees.

And I'm 2,548 miles from home.

A somewhat different Thanksgiving

What comes to mind when the idea of "Thanksgiving" is tossed into a conversation? The essentials; turkey, sweet potato casserole, rolls, green bean casserole, numerous pies and ice cream. Oh....and most of the time family! But this year was a little different for the southern California Suhr household of two. Instead of spending the holiday fighting traffic driving somewhere or loads of moolah flying home, we decided to spend it camping in a tent in a little place called Yosemite. Lodging? A cabin with a nice bed, fridge full of food and hot showers, right? Nope. Not even that. We went for the camping experience and it turned out to be a good one. We had 3 nights of freezing (literally) temperatures, but thanks to our numerous ground mattresses, blankets, and queen size sleeping bag we slept like babies! And our food....was goooood! Beth suggested "pigs in a blanket" for thanksgiving dinner and so that's what we did. Here's how. Roast a hot dog over the fire. Once it is done cooking, take a thin slice of cheese and place it around the hot dog and then wrap it in croissant dough (from the can), and finally in aluminum foil. After you roast it over the fire some more it starts sizzlin' and boy does it taste great! Oh...and speaking of fires, we had roaring fires at night. They kept us nice and toasty as we cooked and ate out meals and waited for the uneventful sighting of a bear. They were supposed to be in camp every night but we didn't hear or see any sign of them. Beth's beginning to think that animals don't exist where people say they do. On our honeymoon in New Hampshire we looked and looked for a moose for a week and a half and never saw one. We were up in the Boundary Waters canoeing for a week and didn't see one up there either. Now, no bears in Yosemite?! She might me on to something.

The interesting part of camping though at this time of year in a deep valley, is that the sun sets around 4pm and it's dark by 5. The game then becomes, "what can we do to stay awake for like 4 more hours till it's bed time?". The answer was NOTHING! Ahh.....going to bed at 8pm was actually a treat. We got about 12 hours of sleep each night.

During the days we hiked to gorgeous water falls via hiking trails that were near vertical. I looked at the hikers guide and it said that the hikes would be strenuous and then very strenuous, but I didn't believe it. But let me tell you, it's not 3 days after the hikes and we are both still so sore from it! The people on the trails were very friendly and everyone was wishing each other "happy Thanksgiving!" and we even got to hike with a man from San Francisco for a while. His wife and girls were staying down in the valley for the day and so we some good company for a while. One thing that seems to happen on our hikes is some sort of miscommunication. Beth says something, I don't hear it right for some reason and then the aftermath leaves us trying to sort out what happened. Neither of us like it, but it happens each time we go out! Every couple I talk to says that communication is the hardest part of a relationship....and I'll agree whole-heartedly on that one. A constant tension that we'll be learning about for years to come.

Back to the end of the trip...we came home and relaxed friday evening after thanksgiving and it was so nice to be warm, clean and sleeping with a down comforter! Saturday ended up being a huge day for us as well. We made our first, all by ourselves, thanksgiving dinner for us and 6 others! It was a hit and the people that came loved it. We really enjoyed the evening with our friends and just wish it could have lasted for longer. The day ended with a slice of pumpkin roll and some sparkling cider and laughter in the living room!
That was a different thanksgiving, but one I'll remember for the rest of my life. I'm going to put a few pics up just so you can see where we were for our fall holiday!

Mismatched Skiing

I've always been that person. 

Winter time came around, and the Harrisons were just never prepared.

We were the kids without the snow boots. We wrapped plastic bags around our socked toes and then stuffed our feet into our regular tennis shoes. It worked ok, but boy, it wasn't very stylish. (I wish I had a picture of us as kids to upload here)

Or the snow pants. Those things have always been hideous. Hand me downs or a pair picked up at the local Goodwill store. Outdated and ugly.

Gloves, Hats, Jackets...all a mismatch. Whatever you could find you threw together.

And skiis? Yeah right. Never owned a pair of those. Looked at a couple pairs one time with Dad at the Gift and Thrift, but decided maybe skiis from the 70's were a tad outdated and a little unreliable.

It's a weird thing to be on a ski hill and feel self-conscious. No one can see an inch of your skin. And yet, you feel like you're sticking out like a sore thumb. You definitely don't look like you belong there. Just a weekend warrior.

It may sound silly, and slightly materialistic...but even in snow gear I still want to MATCH! Is it the girl in me? Possibly.

Fast forward to the present. 

So there's a Christmas ski trip coming up in about a month for Garrett and I. Now Garrett...he's the gear guy. He's got the outfit all together. He always looks like such a pro out there. And this year...I'll be standing next to him tall and proud!

We just got a gently used pair of skiis for me off of ebay, and they have purple flowers on them! I have a basic black ski jacket. I'm looking for a used pair of grey (gotta color coordinate) ski pants that fit (not too short, not too baggy...). And I'll probably compliment it with a purple scarf/hat and some nice goggles. Notice, I'm still pretty ok with the used idea, as long as it matches!

Friends, I'm pumped.

Pathological Picture Taker Wannabe

There is a button on my page that is a picture of a picture-taker.
The button, if clicked, will lead you directly to an online hosting site for pictures.
It's my online hosting site. It's my photobucket.
Are there any pictures in it?

Not a one.

Everytime I see the button on my page I feel like I am a Pathological Picture Taker Wannabe.

Because I am.

For the longest time, I have had the desire to become really really good at something. Not just any something, either. Picture taking, something.

I love to browse through pictures, think of other angles I would have shot, see the crispness in details and color. And I've always wanted to take those pictures myself, and not just watch other people take them.

And one day, I will. Whether it be after I take a class, or after I buy a camera, or after...whatever I feel is blocking my way...I will.

So for now, as a kind of...reminder, I will leave the Pathological Picture Taker button on my page. Though I may be a Wannabe, at least I'm not afraid to admit it.

Lace 'Em Up

Tonight is the night. My good friend Janae and I are signing up
for the Surf City Half Marathon on February 7th, 2010.

Huntington Beach

Early Morning Start Time

Sweet Finish Line

One-Of-A-Kind Medals

All with a great friend...

Training has begun!

Fall?

I'm makin' a pumpkin pie and lookin' at pictures from home.

At least I can pretend like it's fall, even if the weather strongly suggests otherwise.

Bah-Bah-Blogging

I don't get it. I will go through the day and think, "Hmmm...I should write about that." Then I sit down, pull up "new blog post" and....nada.

Sometimes I am just brimming with things to write about. Other times. Dry. Like the desert.

Tonight's a dry like the desert.

So I will ramble.

I was sick today. Last night really. Now it's in my throat. So I stayed home from work in hopes of recovering. While I was home I worked on finances. When I was single, I had this whole system thing going. Then, after Garrett and I got married, and I was pretty much jobless for a year, I think I just fell into this "I don't know where the money goes and I don't care" vortex.

Now that I'm back to contributing to society (or at least to our back account), I feel the need to know where things are coming from and where they're going, when they're going, who's sending them there, and if we're gonna live to see another month (woah, dramatic much?)

So today, I broke out the calculator, excel sheet, and passwords to all the bills and accounts I could come up with.

Not surprisingly, Garrett came home and was a little overwhelmed by all of it. All the sudden, someone else (me!) cared about what was going down with the finances. I think he was surprised, a little confused, and maybe even slightly threatened. I think it made him feel like I thought he wasn't doing a good job with all of it. He was, though! He's done a great job with finances this year! It's probably the last thing we worry about. We do have conversations every now and then about curbing my spending. He's not naturally a spender, and it's not that I'm a huge spender, either, but I'm used to being able to use my money to buy the things I want, when I want to. It's weird to ask permission again. No, permission isn't the right word. It's like permission, but a little softer. But seriously, he's got it all under control!

So here I am, feeling like I've just accomplished something huge by trying to get us all organized, and he's just thinking that I think he's a failure at keeping us alive! (Maybe slightly overstated?)

Don't worry. We talked it out and then had a great time (I love stuff like this for some reason) figuring out which paycheck this bill was coming out of, and who was paying that bill when. I'm still working on a nice neat excel sheet, and hopefully we'll be debt free by May!

And then we ate a nice dinner of tuna steaks, couscous, and guacamole. Yum!

It's just amazing to me that people can come at something from completely different perspectives at times.

9,600 Miles

9,600 miles. That's the end count, folks. We drove 9,600 miles in 7 weeks. It was a crazy summer. We ended up seeing circling the United States as well as being a canoe ride from Canada and an interstate exit from Mexico. We could see both places but weren't able to visit either. Another time. Here's the mapped out version of our trip. You can see it outlined in blue with stopping points along the way. We started in California, headed north, and then circled around, stopping at several places and seeing lots of family and friends.


We were in 23 states this summer (Garrett was actually in 24. He made it to Florida for a game of golf when we were in Alabama). I got to see 5 new states that I'd never been in, and Garrett had several new ones as well. And, we've now been in 34 states together as a married couple. Garrett has now been to all of the lower 48 states, and only has Alaska and Hawaii left to complete the list. Pretty fun! For pictures go to: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2053594&id=69600685&l=70eb21f279

Two New States to the List!

Since we've been married, Garrett and I have started keeping track of all the states that we've been in together. I don't remember the number exactly, but it's somewhere up in the 20's. Well we just added two more to the list with Oregon and Washington! Being from the east coast, these states have always seemed so far away. It's cool to actually see them for myself! Our first stop, Tuesday, was Harris Beach State Park. We ended up camping there for two days. We had a great big campsite and we could see the ocean through the trees and hear it crashing below us. We did some biking around as well as walking on the beach and reading. We just started a new book by Andrew Peterson, who happens to be one of my favorite christian music artists. I was at a concert of his a couple of months ago and found out that he also writes books. Throughout his concert, Andrew's hilarious sense of humor comes out in both his lyrics and his personal stories. So naturally, I thought his books would be great. We're a little ways into it and I think we could recommend the series. We're really enjoying it!


Anyways, we're only a couple weeks into the summer trip. It seems crazy that we won't be home for another month and a half. We're enjoying ourselves so far, though, and we've got many new states to visit!

C-16

Mt. Rainier - - Cougar Rock Campground - -
Campsite C-16

An ode to a campsite I will miss -

Thank you for a dry spot in a rainy forest,
for a fireplace warm and providing,
for some snow to serve as our ice chest,
and a quiet evening for a good night's read.

You served us well for our stay this time,
though short this stay, next time will be long.

She's A-mazing

Just wanted to say that my wife is incredible. This blog is going to be so much fun and she's made it so US already. I'm diggin' it Baby!

Times, they are a changin'...

Bob Dylan said it right. Times are changin'. Changin' lots of things.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgECKj9LSH4

And currently, in the Suhr household, Times are changing the following things:
1. The marital status change of '08 caused the following changes to occur (refer to #2 and #3)
2. The title of this blog as well as the blog address
3. The authors. Garrett has been invited! Can't wait to read some blogs from the man, eh?

SummerTIME is changing our residence for about two months. No longer will we reside in Stewart Hall, no siree. We are moving our residence to, what some might call, a mobile home. It is quite mobile. We'll see how the home part works out. Our residence for June and July will be our "new-to-us" Isuzu Rodeo. A 1998 beauty with a mere 65,000 miles, this firecracker (who is yet to be named) is going to be driving us around the country. Literally. We are CIRCLING the United States of America.


Unfortunately, Sheep (Jeep) will have to stay behind and soak up the California sun while we are gone. And she doesn't know this yet, but we are also planning on selling her, though we will miss her TREMENDOUSLY. She's quite the perfect little vehicle for California Residents.

Anyways, the trek is going to look something like this:
The trip begins on May 31st as we head North to Brad and Sharon's in Calistoga. We'll enjoy their company for a day or two and then continue on from there to Oregon along the coast and tent ourselves down at Columbia River Gorge, head to Olympic National Park in Washington, as well as Seattle (still need to call Lisa...check), and the Cascades. From there we'll head to some family property in Idaho, and on to friends in Bozeman, Montana. This will take up our first two weeks. From there we'll head to Wisconsin, spend some time at camp, then to Hopey and Tyler's wedding on the 20th in Janesville! (Congrats!)(Congrats to Jessie and Paul as well, who are getting married on the SAME DAY!) Following the grandios celebration we will make our way to Virginia via Chicago, possibly Mishawaka (Lunch, Kim?) , and roads through Ohio, West Virginia, and finally Home Sweet Home! We'll spend one week in Harrisonburg with my family(We want to do a sleepover, Sarah and Stuart...and Stephen!), hit up my first high school reunion on the 27th (Yay, BRCS Friends!), and drive to Roanoke that night to head off to our first beach week with the Suhrs. We'll leave the 28th of June and be on the Outer Banks for a week, wrapping up the food, fun, and BEACH on the 4th of July. The next week we'll spend in Roanoke hanging out with the Suhrs, checkin' out Jason and Rachel's new house, and playing with the kiddos. Then we'll meet up with my parents and drive to Gulf Shores, Alabama for our SECOND beach week with the extended Harrison family. Yeehaw! Grandma's cookin', more sand, and aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, as well as the Friedrich's are gonna make for one crazy week. After this week ends (July 18th) it'll be time to pack up and head back home. We'll take the southern route, meaning I finally get to see Texas! Don't worry, I'm bringin' my boots.

The big question of the summer is, will Bella be joining us on our way back?
Only time will tell. (Meaning, I'm still trying to make that decision) :)

At any rate, we are PUMPED. We'll try and keep this updated. We may be having too much fun!

Here's to summertime, and jobs that give you summer's off! Hip-Hip-Hooray!

So...a lot's been happening...and I'm selfish!

Ok. So I keep getting these comments...mainly from the Gustafsons and ex-Gustafsons that I don't blog enough. It's true. Here's why. I feel like so much has happened that is really important that I need to blog it and put it up...but...that would take FOREVER! So...I think what I'm going to do...is just start from now. Maybe eventually I'll get some pictures from all that's been going on up here. I'm going to post most on facebook for those that even care to see them (sometimes I feel like I'm really presuming that people even WANT to look at my pictures...)
Here goes.
I am enjoying marriage...a lot...but I'm also learning a lot about how selfish I am! Good grief! I mean this is the closest that anyone ever sees you at and I guess it just shows you all the good things and bad things about yourself. Garrett's so unselfish in comparison to me and it's really making me want to change some things. I read in a book once that marriage isn't as much about making you happy as it is about making you holy...helping you see things in life that you want to change so that you can better represent who God is. When I first read it I kinda pushed it aside...like..nooo...I mean yes, but it's also about making you happy!! But really...I think it is a lot about making you see all of the sides of yourself. It's crazy. Example. I've been shopping around looking for furniture because the apartment is a little bare. I want something unique and really cool. So I've been looking at antique stores and I found this table that is just...literally...perfect. It's a little couch table that's long and skinny to go in our living room right by the front door...but it's painted really cool...this green color with some gold accents..just really cool. And I had my heart SET on it. And then I took Garrett in. And as nice as he could he said...no. Cause we don't need it. We have a couch to sit on. We've got a table to eat off...and we've got a bed to sleep in. And a couple other things. But we're tight right now so spending the extra on this thing of desire was just...not something we can do. And I was buuuuummmmeeeed. And I showed it. I got all grouchy and...just really Kindergarten-esque. And he asked this really great question. He just said..."How do you want me to respond, then? If I know I need to say no, how do you want me to do it? I can't say yes all the time. But the way you're reacting to my no isn't very mature. How am I supposed to say no in a way that won't make you get like this?" Like a punch to the stomach. He was totally right...Man...that was a hard day. Just seeing myself for my TRUE self...not fun. Ha!

It is a lot of fun, though. We don't have a whole lot of cash flow...especially with me not having a job yet...so we're trying to find these little things to enjoy. Like last night we ordered a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut and watched a movie at home. And it felt like such a treat to get a stuffed crust pizza! There's also this two dollar theater down the road that we've gone to twice. So much cheaper than the other places. Sheesh. It's 11 bucks out here to go see a movie. That's ridiculous! But we've been all about finding excitement in the little things. We live 30 minutes from a beach...free to go to...and we pack a cooler with some sandwiches and snacks...a whole day that doesn't cost us much of anything! It's fun to try and figure out the little things to enjoy...



And...though it may be a little bare...the apartment is at least not cluttered. Cluttered is bad. And hard to keep clean. I should know. That's been me the other 25 years of my life. :)

Wear sunscreen...

I am sunburned.......because we went to the beach yesterday. Laguna Beach. I live like 45 minutes from there which is crazy to me. Coming from Virginia you hear about this place called Laguna Beach and it almost seems like it's made up. The show on tv is just loaded with these girls that have waaaaaay too much money and all the right clothes, cars, and cell phones. It's just crazy. The problem is, I'm sure the majority of teenage girls that watch the show are just sitting there and completely measuring their worth off of this stuff that is just not reality for the majority of people that live on this earth. I hate that.

Anyways...there is a nice part of the beach that doesn't get too crowded. Garrett and I have gone twice so far and I DID put on sunscreen but I guess it didn't work very well. I even had streaks on my legs where you could see my finger marks from rubbing it in. Lesson learned. I'll put it on before I get out there next time and let it soak in. But we packed a little lunch and headed out there...got in the water and dove through some waves...and just had a relaxing time.

It's not too bad, this California place.

Can I get witness!?!

I want to say, that if I were put in the same situations that Buzz puts Steve in in the following story, that I would be an effective witness. I hate to say that I'm scared of situations like this, but I guess that's an honest thing to say...cause I AM scared. I was in Atlanta, Georgia recently and got questioned on some of my beliefs and I just stood there stammering. I didn't even know what to say or how to respond. I feel like such a baby in some of my Biblical understanding, even though I've been in the church all of my life. I think my lack of deep knowledge on stuff keeps me from being confident in my witnessing. But i don't think it should! I have experienced God's grace so much that it flows me off my feet. He brings me peace with my life and past when I have no idea how to find it for myself. He gives me gifts in relationships that I don't feel like I deserve. He blows me away again and again...I think that's enough to give me confidence in order to share my faith. This is an area I'd like to grow in. It's weird to say this, but I guess I'm not exactly sure how. Check this story out:

I had two different men disciple me in college. The first took me through ministry materials each week, along with the “mandatory” one on one we’d agreed on. At the end of my freshmen year, he graduated, we shook hands, and I’ve never heard from him since. That experience taught me that discipleship involves giving a young believer some direction, yes, but requires the pouring out of some affection too. Later in college, God gave me a second man, Buzz (that’s right, Buzz) Underwood, as my discipler and who loved me in spite of myself. I’d never met someone who cared, served, prayed and invested in my life like Buzz did. He didn’t do it to impress others or even out of obedience to God; he did it because he enjoyed being with me — the highest compliment you can pay anyone.

Buzz was the apostle Paul at my college and if you were going to hang with him, you would instantly be labeled a Christian extremist and inevitably be ostracized by certain campus factions. Like a modern day Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, part of me still wanted to be cool and accepted by my fraternity brothers and at the same time appear spiritually radical to the other Christians on campus. Buzz helped me change all that with his version of shock therapy discipleship taken from the Apostle Paul’s second letter to Timothy, his young disciple. Even though my safe, comfortable life was traumatized, I forever learned three of Buzz’s paradigm shifting secrets of turning Christians into disciples.

Secret #1: Expose the Embarrassment

Buzz was a senior ROTC student who doubled as a Resident Assistant in a men’s dorm, but from all appearances he had as his primary goal in life to show me how ashamed I was of the gospel. One night as I was coming over to his dorm for our weekly small group, Buzz happened to hop on the elevator at the last second. Instead of greeting me, he casually leaned up against the side of the crowded elevator and acting like he didn’t know me, said, “Hey buddy. What’s that in your hand?”

Of course, all 12 sets of eyes were glued to the flashing floor numbers above, pretending they weren’t listening to every single word exchanged between Buzz and I. Pausing to catch my breath, I sheepishly responded in a low voice,

“It’s a Bible, Buzz.”

“A Bible!” he shouted, “That’s not that stuff that talks about Jesus Christ being the Son of God, is it?!”

After turning 18 shades of red, I finally lowered my head and whispered, “Yeah, Buzz. That’s what it says.”

He wasn’t through with his thrashing, though, and added, “You don’t really believe that stuff, do you?” Luckily, the door to our floor opened and I was rescued from having to answer his final question.

Even though I wanted to vanish from the face of the earth during those painfully drawn-out seconds on the elevator, I later was very grateful to Buzz, who exposed my unwillingness to totally identify with Jesus Christ, the Scriptures and ─ Buzz himself. As cruel as it seems, he was only trying to help me, even as the Apostle Paul challenged young Timothy, to “not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or be ashamed of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. (2 Timothy 1:8). Little did I know that my training had just begun. . . .

Secret #2: Prepare for Impact

A few weeks later Buzz asked me to go with him to visit a resident assistant friend of his in a nearby dorm. I agreed ─ not fully comprehending yet that Buzz was into teaching me “object lessons” wherever we went! So up we zoomed to the 10th story, but when the elevator door opened, we couldn’t get out because of the 60 freshmen packed in together, waiting for a floor meeting to begin. As we squeezed out from the closing elevator, I looked around at the sea of guys sitting and staring up at us. Instantly, Buzz’s friend recognized us and said, “Buzz, good to have you with us tonight. I’ll turn it over to you.”

Without hesitation, Buzz, imitating a late night talk show host, warmed up the crowd by announcing, “It’s great to be with you guys. I want to introduce our speaker tonight, Steve Shadrach.” He then turned to me, and through his devious smile simply says… “Steve.”

Shocked and appalled, I rotated my head from Buzz’s smirk to the waiting eyes of my young audience. “Well…. it is, uh, good to be with, uh, you guys tonight”, nervously stuttering and stalling all the way.

I really don’t recall details of what I said over the next 15 minutes or so, but I do remember gaining enough presence of mind to move into my personal testimony and then into a gospel explanation. Later, it was obvious to me that this was a total set up and that Buzz was trying to “prime the pump” by putting me in a situation to see if I would be willing and able to share my faith ─ without even a moment’s notice.

Again, I see a parallel in how hesitant and timid Timothy was, but still Paul exhorted him in 2 Timothy 4:2 to “preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season…” I was starting to see this Great Commission thing was 24 hours a day, seven days a week and Buzz was preparing me to impact others for Christ anywhere, anytime. He knew, though, that the outer witness was only as strong as the inward character and although I pretended to be modest, I still had an ego the size of Texas…

Secret # 3: Love the Unlovable

You see, I thought I was the campus Billy Graham until I met Buzz, and even though I was like a wild bucking bronco when it came to respecting or submitting to his spiritual leadership, he never gave up on me. Buzz and I lived together my senior year where he would constantly make my bed and fix the meals. I repaid his kindnesses by begrudgingly sitting in his early-morning Bible study with a blanket wrapped around my head to protest the indecent hour.

Once, during a prayer walk we took together, in the middle of his very sincere petition, I glared at his bowed head and scoffed, “You’re the biggest phony I’ve ever met!” If there was ever a time I deserved for someone to call me a slimy imbecile and whack me, it was then. Instead, he patiently smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, looked right into my eyes — and soul — then quietly uttered four unbelievable words, “I love you, Steve.”

That was the final straw. All of my defenses totally broke down and my rebellious heart melted into surrender as I finally grasped how authentic his love was for me. Like Jesus, instead of striking back, he absorbed my assault and extended kindness in return. In 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Paul instructed Timothy to do likewise: “The Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wrong, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition.” I realized that I had been against leadership unless, of course, I was the leader! The real phony was staring back at me in the mirror as I tried to hide my arrogance with a humility performance that could have won me an Oscar.

Finally broken, I remember the exact day and place I was walking in front of the school library where I made the once and for all decision that I would be one person—not two! I’d been playing both sides of the fence but, with Buzz’s help, was determined not to allow other’s opinions to paralyze me any longer. From that point on, I was going to walk toward my fears, forsaking my “esteemed reputation” in favor of suffering for the gospel, like Paul modeled to Timothy. Renouncing my agenda to fulfill God’s, I yearned for Him to light the flame of revival on my campus, but ultimately understood that He wanted to use my life as the fuel.

Buzz’s version of shock therapy discipleship had dramatically impacted me. I’m not saying it’s the best approach for everyone, but sometimes moving from simply a “run of the mill” Christian to a radical disciple requires drastic measures.

Thanks Buzz!

Restless...

Saw this on a friend's page. It hit me pretty hard. It actually refers exactly to a journal entry I made a couple of days ago:

"O Lord, You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they rest in You."
-Austine in his Confessions

Sometimes my heart feels so completely restless. I don't know what to do with it and I get overwhelmed. I find myself driving around town or the countryside, sitting in abandoned soccer fields overlooking the city, just not quite too sure what to do with myself. My heart, as restless as can be...so much so that I feel like it's going to explode out of my chest. It makes my thoughts run a mile a minute and I never know who to talk to about it cause I'm not sure anyone would even understand.

God-my heart is restless. It was made for You. You made us for YOURSELF. That is an amazing thought. My heart was MADE to be satisfied by God alone. Help me learn to rest my heart in You.