My Thoughts on Birth Control Pills, IUD Devices, Etc.

Psalm 139:13-14a
For You formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

This one's gonna be tough. I've been waiting a long time to write this. Just never knew how.

In 2008, Garrett and I got married. I went on The Pill in January, we got married in April, and in October, while walking around campus I saw a book that caught my attention. "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?" (by Randy Alcorn) 

"Ha! That's crazy," I thought. I've never heard that and I'm on the pill. Of COURSE they don't.

*picked it up* *guy told me to take it with me* *took it home and read the first couple of pages*

Birth control pills work in three ways.
1. Prevent Ovulation (right, knew that)
2. Thicken Cervical Mucous to prevent sperm from getting to the eggs. (Gross)
3. Thin the lining of the Uterine wall to prevent a fertilized egg from attaching

Wait. Fertilized egg? That's weird. I believe in life at conception. A fertilized egg is AFTER conception. This can't be right.

*put down book* *go to bathroom and get my BC Pill pack* *read fine print*

Birth control pills work in three ways...
(See above. It was the same)

*sit down*

This can't be true. If this was true wouldn't someone have told me?

My response was quick. To me it was simple. I believed in life at conception. Conception happens when an egg gets fertilized. I believe in the value of human life and that every person, even a four week old baby, is precious. For me to take a pill that works to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting
is to take a pill that goes against what I believe.

I flushed them.
(If you're curious, most birth control works this way. IUD, patch, etc.)

When you start looking for other options of birth control that don't do the above things, the options slim WAY down. Yes, it was a bit of an inconvenience. Not big enough for me to even consider using something that went again what I believe in, though. A minor sacrifice.

I wasn't informed. Maybe you weren't either. Now you are. Do some research. Pray about it.

A couple of other things I want to mention:

1. Since 2008, when I first came across this information, I looked up every site I could think of, even ones that had differing viewpoints than my own, to make sure that this was true. Since then, some websites have changed the wording on their pages to sound less...harsh? Ortho-Tricyclen (my BC brand) removed the word "fertilized" from in front of egg. Planned Parenthood has taken the third function of BC off of its site altogether.

          When asked how BC Pills work:

           Medicine Net
           medicinenet.com actually seems to say that preventing ovulation isn't the primary function of
           birth control pills. That the other two, a thinned uterine wall and increased mucous is first and
           that the prevention of ovulation occurs in SOME women.

            Planned Parenthood

            Planned Parenthood leaves out the whole third mechanism: 

     2. How often does this happen? It's almost impossible to tell. It would be a very early miscarriage  

     basically, happening at 4 weeks, and would result in what most women would think was their   

     period. However, I tried to work up some numbers just to wrap my head around it. This is basic 

     math, and could be off a little. But even if it's off a little, the numbers seem staggering. Here's what I 

     figured: 

• Planned Parenthood says there are 62 Million women are in their childbearing years, and of those women, 28% are on the pill.  That's 17,360,000 Women. 
• Planned Parenthood says that a pregnancy occurs 2-9 women out of 100. We'll give them the benefit of the doubt and use the lowest number, 2, as these are probably the people that used the pill PERFECTLY. So 2 out of 100 is 2% of women who use the pill perfectly end with a pregnancy. 
• 2% of the 17+ million that are on the pill is...347,200 pregnancies with PERFECT pill usage. That means the Pill typically FAILS that many times in one year. Out of the 3 methods it uses,  (1. preventing Ovulation 2. Increasing Cervical Mucous 3. Preventing Implantation of a Fertilized Egg by Thinning the Uterine Wall) all three fail an average of 347 THOUSAND times. 
• There's no way of knowing how many times the job of preventing pregnancy is left up to a third and final method, the thinned uterine lining. But to know that all three methods fail at the staggering rate of almost 350,000 times per year makes me think it must be a large enough number to be considered. (Though, isn't 1 a large enough number to be considered?)

     3. Another thing to consider is the effect of BC on our bodies. When I went off The Pill my moods  

     leveled immediately. It was totally effecting my quality of life. I know this is subjective. What I'm
      not sure is subjective is the increasing number of miscarriages that women go through on their
      first pregnancy. Could a large number of these be a result of our uterine wall still not being
      hospitable enough to be able to host a baby? I think this is something important to consider.

     4. What about women with a medical condition that use The Pill to maintain bearable levels of
     cramps as well as help increase chances of fertility?

     This isn't my situation, but obviously effects a number of women. Randy Alcorn's daughter, the guy
     who wrote the book I mentioned above, is on The Pill for a medical condition and he addressed that
     in a radio interview he did. She uses other forms of birth control at the same time (condoms, etc.) to
     override how The Pill works, basically making condoms her main form of birth control to prevent
     sperm from even entering the equation (haha...wow). You could also avoid having sex on days that
     you are the most fertile to reduce the likelihood of this happening. Obviously, condoms don't always
     work, so there would be the occasional time that The Pill would then be on backup, and that's a
     tough thing to consider. He said this was a tough choice she had to make and does everything she
     can to reduce this chance.

   Some Links for further reading:

• "The mommypotamus"writes a much clearer blog about this with definitions on contraception and some quotes, etc. from sources. Very easy reading and insightful. 
• Facts and quotes from doctors and medical personnel can be found at www.abort73.com and    www.prolife.com 
• I also highly recommend the book by Randy Alcorn, "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?" It's written in FAQ format and based on years of research. 

Thanks for reading. I know it's a lot.
Please consider doing some research and making informed and prayerful decisions.

Can these bones live?

"For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

Let me start this off by saying: I have been redeemed. 

There was a period of my life where sin ruled. Where I wasn't being sensitive to the Holy Spirit, which is actually a huge understatement. Not being sensitive = completely and totally ignoring.

God delivered me from my sin. But its effect on me maintained a tight grip.

For years I was so focused on my failures that I began to dry up. In my guilt, I avoided God. The longer I avoided Him, the farther I felt from Him. It was a distance that I was creating because of this feeling that I had that I needed to pay for my sin. It was over the summer of 2011, at a church in Chicago, that a pastor spoke about allowing the message of Grace to truly take hold of our hearts. Do I have a higher standard than God himself? Surely not. Then why in the world do I continue to hold my failures above my head, if God has already forgiven them? Do I not believe that the Jesus' death on the cross was big enough to pay for my sins?

What I have gotten caught up with in the past is the idea that because I chose to rebel, it is my duty to somehow pay for those sins. Because I have no way of doing that, I've often felt like if I show my deepest regret over them, I would somehow be able to come out from under their weight.

My payment was despair.

That summer was foundational for me in my walk with the Lord. It was the day I found freedom. It was a long time coming. Since then, God has slowly, but surely, been drawing me back to himself. And He is faithful to give me reminders that the Cross alone can pay for my sin.

In church this week, Erik (one of our teaching elders) said that whether you are in rebellion or despair, you're actually operating out of two scenarios that stem from the same cause - a focus on self.
(To watch the sermon, go here)

In rebellion, you're doing what self wants to do. It's acting in opposition to what you know God is asking of you or calling you to. It's a denial of the Holy Spirit's tapping, sometimes to the point where the tapping fades and you no longer hear it. "Our rebellion leads us to circumstances in life that break us."

In despair, your focus is on self. Self-pity, self-blame, self-loathing...lots of types of despair. It starts with depravity, "moral corruption or degradation", and as it continues, leads to despair.

At least that's how it was in my case.

To continue to stay focused on my own guilt, my own wrong doings or past sin, is to continue to reject the power of Christ's sacrifice on the Cross. It's to believe the lie that somehow, I have to pay for my own sins. This is an impossibility. It's through the Cross alone that sins can be covered. This is FREEDOM; from sin and from guilt. It's a call to quit with the self-loathing, and live in a new life that has been provided by the free gift of Grace.

I have a new favorite Bible Story.
It's The Valley of Dry Bones. Ezekiel 37: 1-15.

"The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley, it was full of bones. And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold they were very dry. (Emphasis on the impossibility of bringing these dry bones back to life) And he said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" And I answered "O Lord God, you know." Then he said to me, "Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD." So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I prophesied, there was a sound, and behold, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone. And I looked and behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them. But there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, "prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, THus says the Lord God: Come form the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live." So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived an stood on their feet, and exceedingly great army. 

I didn't muster up enough breath for myself and cause myself to go from dead to living. And to be honest, I'm still probably at the point where the bones are rattling and still trying to come back together.
But there is new life forming. And I'm excited about it.

Can these bones live? Absolutely. And I give God all the glory.

Turn my eyes to Your face
Let me draw from Your strength
And bathe in Your grace
Let me soar with wings to win this race
Let me have Your peace it's not a hopeless chase
'Cause I lose sight of all You have called me to be
And it takes so much to drop me to my knees

But I can't wait to be free
From this life of mindless sin that compromises me
I know one day I will be
There is a victory that You've won for me
And when You come back again
I'll be free

Spring Preview Day

Though it may not seem like it from my recent posts, there has been more going on in the Suhr household than just a whole bunch of cake-making. :) 

    

Two weeks ago was Spring Preview Day, an event we host for prospective students here at Biola University. This is my second biggest event of the year, with over 600 students and parents coming on campus to check out the school and see if it's a fit for them. It can get pretty stressful the week of these events and late nights in the office are a common occurrence. Usually, though, we power through and make it happen.

This year was a little different.

One week before the event, I was at Garrett and I's Grace Group (small group at our church) and we were going around sharing prayer requests. I have to admit that I do a lot of things on my own. I just figure it out, push through, and do it. So when prayer request time comes around, there's not much on my mind that I consider desperate enough for a prayer requests. (Not that you have to be desperate to pray about something. I think this is what I'm learning).

We were going around the circle and some people were offering up common life issues as things they were needing to trust God with. When it got around to me, I almost felt guilty. I had this huge event coming up, and I hadn't once stopped to ask God for help with it. So I mentioned this to the group, saying maybe it was my dependance on God that needed prayer. I was serious, but in the moment it also seemed a little funny. My prayer request was that I would have more prayer requests. Not that life would require them, but that I would trust God more with daily things.

The next day I got sick.

I'm talking, coughing every twenty seconds, achy, can't sleep from coughing sick.

How long did it last?

All week.

So what did I have to do?

I had to pray.

I asked God for strength to make it through.

He provided it.

And He provided others who eagerly stepped in and helped carry the load for the week.

Usually, the week before this event means super late nights. Not this time. We left at 6 or 7 most nights, and only stayed till 9 on Friday. The night before each event, I am usually up constantly, my mind racing with last minute details. It didn't happen this time. I slept peacefully. When Sunday rolled around, and all the eager kiddos and their parents arrived on campus, I knew this time was different than others. It had truly been a team effort, and one that God had orchestrated. The event flowed smoothly, and there even times I was standing around a little unsure of what to do with myself. Everything was covered. 

Thanks God, for a lesson in dependence on You. 

I may need a recap here soon. Keep reminding me of my own frailty. 

Can I get witness!?!

I want to say, that if I were put in the same situations that Buzz puts Steve in in the following story, that I would be an effective witness. I hate to say that I'm scared of situations like this, but I guess that's an honest thing to say...cause I AM scared. I was in Atlanta, Georgia recently and got questioned on some of my beliefs and I just stood there stammering. I didn't even know what to say or how to respond. I feel like such a baby in some of my Biblical understanding, even though I've been in the church all of my life. I think my lack of deep knowledge on stuff keeps me from being confident in my witnessing. But i don't think it should! I have experienced God's grace so much that it flows me off my feet. He brings me peace with my life and past when I have no idea how to find it for myself. He gives me gifts in relationships that I don't feel like I deserve. He blows me away again and again...I think that's enough to give me confidence in order to share my faith. This is an area I'd like to grow in. It's weird to say this, but I guess I'm not exactly sure how. Check this story out:

I had two different men disciple me in college. The first took me through ministry materials each week, along with the “mandatory” one on one we’d agreed on. At the end of my freshmen year, he graduated, we shook hands, and I’ve never heard from him since. That experience taught me that discipleship involves giving a young believer some direction, yes, but requires the pouring out of some affection too. Later in college, God gave me a second man, Buzz (that’s right, Buzz) Underwood, as my discipler and who loved me in spite of myself. I’d never met someone who cared, served, prayed and invested in my life like Buzz did. He didn’t do it to impress others or even out of obedience to God; he did it because he enjoyed being with me — the highest compliment you can pay anyone.

Buzz was the apostle Paul at my college and if you were going to hang with him, you would instantly be labeled a Christian extremist and inevitably be ostracized by certain campus factions. Like a modern day Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, part of me still wanted to be cool and accepted by my fraternity brothers and at the same time appear spiritually radical to the other Christians on campus. Buzz helped me change all that with his version of shock therapy discipleship taken from the Apostle Paul’s second letter to Timothy, his young disciple. Even though my safe, comfortable life was traumatized, I forever learned three of Buzz’s paradigm shifting secrets of turning Christians into disciples.

Secret #1: Expose the Embarrassment

Buzz was a senior ROTC student who doubled as a Resident Assistant in a men’s dorm, but from all appearances he had as his primary goal in life to show me how ashamed I was of the gospel. One night as I was coming over to his dorm for our weekly small group, Buzz happened to hop on the elevator at the last second. Instead of greeting me, he casually leaned up against the side of the crowded elevator and acting like he didn’t know me, said, “Hey buddy. What’s that in your hand?”

Of course, all 12 sets of eyes were glued to the flashing floor numbers above, pretending they weren’t listening to every single word exchanged between Buzz and I. Pausing to catch my breath, I sheepishly responded in a low voice,

“It’s a Bible, Buzz.”

“A Bible!” he shouted, “That’s not that stuff that talks about Jesus Christ being the Son of God, is it?!”

After turning 18 shades of red, I finally lowered my head and whispered, “Yeah, Buzz. That’s what it says.”

He wasn’t through with his thrashing, though, and added, “You don’t really believe that stuff, do you?” Luckily, the door to our floor opened and I was rescued from having to answer his final question.

Even though I wanted to vanish from the face of the earth during those painfully drawn-out seconds on the elevator, I later was very grateful to Buzz, who exposed my unwillingness to totally identify with Jesus Christ, the Scriptures and ─ Buzz himself. As cruel as it seems, he was only trying to help me, even as the Apostle Paul challenged young Timothy, to “not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or be ashamed of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. (2 Timothy 1:8). Little did I know that my training had just begun. . . .

Secret #2: Prepare for Impact

A few weeks later Buzz asked me to go with him to visit a resident assistant friend of his in a nearby dorm. I agreed ─ not fully comprehending yet that Buzz was into teaching me “object lessons” wherever we went! So up we zoomed to the 10th story, but when the elevator door opened, we couldn’t get out because of the 60 freshmen packed in together, waiting for a floor meeting to begin. As we squeezed out from the closing elevator, I looked around at the sea of guys sitting and staring up at us. Instantly, Buzz’s friend recognized us and said, “Buzz, good to have you with us tonight. I’ll turn it over to you.”

Without hesitation, Buzz, imitating a late night talk show host, warmed up the crowd by announcing, “It’s great to be with you guys. I want to introduce our speaker tonight, Steve Shadrach.” He then turned to me, and through his devious smile simply says… “Steve.”

Shocked and appalled, I rotated my head from Buzz’s smirk to the waiting eyes of my young audience. “Well…. it is, uh, good to be with, uh, you guys tonight”, nervously stuttering and stalling all the way.

I really don’t recall details of what I said over the next 15 minutes or so, but I do remember gaining enough presence of mind to move into my personal testimony and then into a gospel explanation. Later, it was obvious to me that this was a total set up and that Buzz was trying to “prime the pump” by putting me in a situation to see if I would be willing and able to share my faith ─ without even a moment’s notice.

Again, I see a parallel in how hesitant and timid Timothy was, but still Paul exhorted him in 2 Timothy 4:2 to “preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season…” I was starting to see this Great Commission thing was 24 hours a day, seven days a week and Buzz was preparing me to impact others for Christ anywhere, anytime. He knew, though, that the outer witness was only as strong as the inward character and although I pretended to be modest, I still had an ego the size of Texas…

Secret # 3: Love the Unlovable

You see, I thought I was the campus Billy Graham until I met Buzz, and even though I was like a wild bucking bronco when it came to respecting or submitting to his spiritual leadership, he never gave up on me. Buzz and I lived together my senior year where he would constantly make my bed and fix the meals. I repaid his kindnesses by begrudgingly sitting in his early-morning Bible study with a blanket wrapped around my head to protest the indecent hour.

Once, during a prayer walk we took together, in the middle of his very sincere petition, I glared at his bowed head and scoffed, “You’re the biggest phony I’ve ever met!” If there was ever a time I deserved for someone to call me a slimy imbecile and whack me, it was then. Instead, he patiently smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, looked right into my eyes — and soul — then quietly uttered four unbelievable words, “I love you, Steve.”

That was the final straw. All of my defenses totally broke down and my rebellious heart melted into surrender as I finally grasped how authentic his love was for me. Like Jesus, instead of striking back, he absorbed my assault and extended kindness in return. In 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Paul instructed Timothy to do likewise: “The Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wrong, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition.” I realized that I had been against leadership unless, of course, I was the leader! The real phony was staring back at me in the mirror as I tried to hide my arrogance with a humility performance that could have won me an Oscar.

Finally broken, I remember the exact day and place I was walking in front of the school library where I made the once and for all decision that I would be one person—not two! I’d been playing both sides of the fence but, with Buzz’s help, was determined not to allow other’s opinions to paralyze me any longer. From that point on, I was going to walk toward my fears, forsaking my “esteemed reputation” in favor of suffering for the gospel, like Paul modeled to Timothy. Renouncing my agenda to fulfill God’s, I yearned for Him to light the flame of revival on my campus, but ultimately understood that He wanted to use my life as the fuel.

Buzz’s version of shock therapy discipleship had dramatically impacted me. I’m not saying it’s the best approach for everyone, but sometimes moving from simply a “run of the mill” Christian to a radical disciple requires drastic measures.

Thanks Buzz!

Restless...

Saw this on a friend's page. It hit me pretty hard. It actually refers exactly to a journal entry I made a couple of days ago:

"O Lord, You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they rest in You."
-Austine in his Confessions

Sometimes my heart feels so completely restless. I don't know what to do with it and I get overwhelmed. I find myself driving around town or the countryside, sitting in abandoned soccer fields overlooking the city, just not quite too sure what to do with myself. My heart, as restless as can be...so much so that I feel like it's going to explode out of my chest. It makes my thoughts run a mile a minute and I never know who to talk to about it cause I'm not sure anyone would even understand.

God-my heart is restless. It was made for You. You made us for YOURSELF. That is an amazing thought. My heart was MADE to be satisfied by God alone. Help me learn to rest my heart in You.